Day 24

Today I did the hard thing: I sat down at the keyboard.

You might notice I didn't post yesterday. That's partly because I've been sick, but also because I got extremely discouraged and didn't write anything. I started to wonder if what I was writing was even valuable or worth it. If the crappy first draft I've been writing will even be salvageable.

After yesterday, it would've been easy not to sit down and write. I wouldn't have even had to give up. I could've just told myself I was taking a break, waiting until I felt better. But the biggest thing I learned from writing my practice novel last year is that the only thing that matters is butt in chair. Fingers on keyboard. Everything else is excuses.

And while my word count didn't go up very much (actually, I think I'm cutting a large chunk T_T), I have a few new pages in my notebook and a new ending to my book. Because I learned a few other things while writing my practice novel, one of which was that occasionally it's okay, even necessary, to pull back and look at the big picture. I spent most of today just writing down an outline of everything I've written up till now, and it helped clarify things. I also just stream-of-consciousness'd all over my notebook, posing questions, naming frustrations, following trains of thought, and it helped me realize that the ending I had in mind was completely incompatible with the character arc my main character is undergoing. Both might change again before this is all over. But right now they mesh with each other a lot better than they did yesterday.

This is why I keep this blog, by the way. Because while these lessons from my practice novel are still fresh in my mind now, they might not be next year, or five years from now. I intended to keep a progress journal for my practice novel right from the beginning, because I knew I was going to learn a lot and I wanted to make sure I remembered everything I learned. I didn't, but I'm keeping this one now, and I hope I can look back on this during my next slump and remember that I came out of it, and not only did I come out of it, but I came out of it, like, in a day. 

Because I also learned this from my practice novel: when you get your butt in the chair and your fingers on the keyboard every single day, these mountains show themselves for molehills pretty quickly.

Day 23

1,171 words. And none of it was scrap!

On the other hand, I'm in the muddled middle. I feel confident I'm going in the right direction, but I don't actually know precisely what my main character's arc is, and it's been shifting ever since I started the draft. That lack of a clear arc has, I think, been resulting in some of those scrapped words and a plot that feels a bit meandering right now.

I'm sure that's all partially because I'm still getting to know her. Besides, most of the shifts in her arc have been more or less minor: like going from learning to be independent to learning to value herself as a person. So I feel like I'm probably on the right track. But it's always nerve-racking not knowing quite how the story is going to turn out until the end. That feeling is probably for the best, though. If I got too complacent it wouldn't be any fun.

And all of this will get fixed in revisions, of course. I just get leery of dumping too much on future me. She's going to have enough on her plate as it is.

Day 22

1,500 words, 500 of which I scrapped. Being sick means I have lots of time to write.

I'm almost to 30,000 words. 40,000 is my target, and I'll know I've gone way too long if I hit 50,000. So I should be done with the first draft in two or three weeks. Dang. That doesn't seem like that long.

Day 21

1,465 words.

Sick. Wrote anyway. Now back to bed.

Day 20

1,028 words.

My main character's (first) big realization is about to happen. It will be tricky, but internal antagonists are my favorite thing to write. The Journeyman Writer talks about the difference between external and internal antagonists in this podcast, now archived on YouTube. I highly recommend the whole series, he has a lot of good ideas and discussions.

A story with an internal antagonist doesn't have a villain. Instead, your main character is, knowingly or not, fighting against their own erroneous beliefs or bad habits or character flaws. I almost exclusively write these kinds of stories because I feel they are universal. Not all of us have an outside force working to make our lives worse, but we do all have character flaws we're trying to overcome. Watching someone go through that successfully is cathartic, and, sometimes, even instructive.

It's also wicked fun to write.

Day 19

1,172 words.

(Actually more like 1,640, but the extra five hundred was a dead-end.)

Day 18

1,272 words.

Well, I guess my fears about my pace slowing down didn't come true. I did spend a little time fleshing out the outline before I started writing, but I made good progress with that and now I have a better idea of where I'm going with this section. My main character is getting more and more fleshed out, and her arc is becoming more and more clear to me. It's also miles away from what I thought it was when I started. But I expected as much. When all is said and done it will probably be better.

Looks like new character boy might be an integral part of my FMC's arc. Didn't see that coming.